OLFACTORY NONSCENTS
A few years ago my ex husband had a laryngectomy for cancer of the larynx. The surgery changes you in weird ways, because you no longer breath through your nose or mouth. You breathe through a hole in your neck. A few years after his surgery he was playing golf and had a heart attack. Luckily one of the people nearby was a nurse, who knew to give him CPR by chest pressure and blowing air into the hole in his neck. Had someone given him normal CPR he would have died from lack of oxygen. Another way it changed him was made him hesitant to go out on the pier behind our house. Had he fallen in the water he simply would have drowned, the water rushing into the hole in his neck and into his lungs. Another thing that changed was his sense of smell. It was gone. He was unable to smell gas or smoke or any number of noxious things that could have killed him. He lost most of his sense of taste, but completely lost his olfactory faculty. The exquisite sense of smell that is such a gift and a pleasure for most of us.
Long story short...I love and appreciate my sense of smell. Whether you want to call it aromatherapy or smelling the roses, I spend maybe too much money on refining what kind of molecules enter my nose. But here again the advertising industry, knowing our weakness for novelty, has exploited our sense of smell and we may be on the brink of scentsory overload! And because describing a smell is impossible without referring to another smell, we have been inundated with new techniques to give us an idea of what products smell like. I'm at a loss. How the hell am I supposed to know what a Moroccan market smells like, or a river in Thailand? Here are some examples.
Air Freshener
FEBREZE DESCRIPTIONSThai Dragon Fruit™ Famous for an abundance of dragon fruits, mangoes and papayas, the winding canals of Thailand inspired this wonderful scent.
Brazilian Carnaval™ The airy scent of lush green açai berry palms that billow in the Amazon winds.
Moroccan Bazaar™ Fresh-ground ginger, one of the many stimulating scents at a Moroccan spice market.
Think these are pretty esoteric? Wait, the language gets more florid when it comes to candles.
CANDLE DELIRIUM DESCRIPTIONS
Voluspa Maison Laguna candle is reminiscent of velvet sand and dazzling azure seas as the gentle Santa Ana winds pull warm desert air into the Pacific.
Voluspa Maison Elysian Garden candle is like speckled sunlight shining on trees into ferns, moss and grotto. A mix of sun warmed citrus fruit and gentle green foliage.
Actor/Model/Waiter/Whore from A Scent of Scandal is a lime scented soy candle.
I kind of like that last one, but it gets worse:
Godiva Black Almond Truffle candle is roasted black almonds and velvet dark chocolate, enhanced with a hint of golden honey and the unique character of a toasted sesame accord. (Huh? Sesame accord? )
Belle of India candle (price $85.00 ): jasmine absolute. The glamour and sensuality of India revealed through the most exquisite jasmine absolute. (Seems like we deserve more words for $85.00)
Absinthe candle: Long illegal in Europe and the United States, Absinthe, also known as the Green Fairy, has an elusive fragrance drawn from a secret blend of herbs and oils known for their psychedelic properties. In this signature DL & Company perfume, Anise, Coriander, Armoise, Vetiver, and Mint give the olfactory illusion of being transported back to the world of Van Gogh, Toulouse-Lautrec, and the lost Absinthe bars of old New Orleans.
But the best descriptions are reserved for perfume. After reading these, you have absolutely no idea what they smell like.
Britney Spears' Circus Fantasy is a fruity-floral fragrance designed entirely around her Circus album and corresponding tour. The scent opens on candy notes of sugar-coated raspberry and apricot before fading into a floral heart of fresh waterlily and red sweetheart orchid. Its fruity top notes set ablaze a vibe of fun and glamour, while a musky base gives weight to this sweet fragrance, blending with vanilla for a touch of sensuality.
Flower by Kenzo perfume is tender and sensual, representing a nomadic flower in the city, taking root in the asphalt. A crisp citrus-fruity blend with soft floral undertones, Flower is delicate and fresh like spring buds. A bouquet of top notes including rose, violet, cassia bark and amber sits on top of a musky heart of almond and vanilla, and a rich base of urban energy accords.
Issey Miyake's A Scent for women smells precisely as it appears it would: minimalistic, simple and clear. Inspired by the crisp aroma of the mountains of Japan, A Scent is fresh and pleasantly fruity, with a wave of jasmine, hyacinth and cedar resting atop French verbena, lemon, and a base of balmy galbanum.
And on that note, I will leave you with what I smell right now,
a perfume I got yesterday called "Still" by JLo.
Here's how I would describe it.
a perfume I got yesterday called "Still" by JLo.
Here's how I would describe it.
2 comments:
Do they really have a scent called Whore?
Based on the name, I would expect a more aquatic animal smell over limes.
Definitely...remember I think the movie was pretty baby and this lady worked at a fish market and every night she washed her hands with limes! Yeah, but it's actor/model/waiter/whore is the whole name. Maybe I will be your secret santa this year...haha
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