My Kitty's One and Only Trick

He will do this every time

Clawed's Trick

I have got to teach this animal a few more tricks.

FLOWERS TO PLANT

Plumeria Nancy Ames

Go ahead and Google Image these...It's a bunch of floral eye candy.

mexican flame
frangipani (plumeria) carter #2
plumeria nancy ames
plumeria ryan chelsey psa #206
plumeria daisy wilcox psa#106
thailand A004 plumeria
peach hibiscus
orange begonias
cassia (shower of gold)
mexican love vine
shrimp plant
poinciana tree
pelargonium moonbeams
Strongylodon macrobotrys "Jade Vine" aqua!
Bougainvillea 'Double Gold'
african tulip tree (spathodea campanulata)
ponytail palm(beaucamea recurvata)
tasmanian blue gum (eucalyptus globulus)
Asparagus fern (asparagus setacous)
royal palm (roystonea regia)
otatea acuminata azetcorum (mexican weeping bambo)
phyllostachys nigra (black bamboo)
salmon pink flowering oleander
natchez crape myrtle (white)
queen palm tree (sygagrus romanzoffiana)
pygmy date palm (phoenix roebellenii)
zamia palm (cardboard) zamia furfuracea
azsparugus fern (asparagus densiflorus)
English ivy (hedera helix)
plum passion nandina (nandina domestica)
bleeding hearts (clerodendron thomsoniae)
lantana camara
ixora (orange)
hallmark (bulbine fruiticosa)
bougainvillea bengal orange
stephanotis floribunda
morning glory chocolate (ipomoea nil)
flowering wisteria tree (wisteria sinensis)
japanese snowball tree
flowering gordonia tree (gordonia lasianthus)
purple robe locust (robinia pseudoacacia)
grancy graybeard (chionanthus virginicus- fringe tree)
thornless honeylocust (gleditsia tricanthus inermis)
southern magnolia grandiflora (magnolia grandiflora)
canary island date palm 9PHOENIX CANARIENSES(
WINDMILL PALM (TRACHYCARPUS FORTUNEI)
ginko biloba (maidenhair tree)
sycamore (platanus occidentalis)

WHAT 50'ISH WOMEN TALK ABOUT

ME
  hey!  you doing alright?
HER
  yep!  why?
ME
  I thought you were missing last night and this morning.  or is it my brain that was missing?
HER 
  I had a dr. appt. 
   But I was here this morning on time and everything!    
ME
  then its just me.  nevermind!  
HER 
  it was my annual gynecological exam -   I expect my uterus to fall out any day... LOL.   I'll just be walking down the street, and oops!  there it is!   
ME
  Stay off the trampoline,!
  hahah!
HER
  Oh - good idea!  Never even thought of that - LOL!  We actually gave our trampoline awayi.  It is probably the one thing I hated to see go the most, my kids spent so many years on that thing - lots of memories.  Guess losing the uterus on it wouldn't be such a fond memory!     
ME 
  it's true you don't see many women in their 50's on the trampoline. ouch.  what the hell is that?
HER
  Something mushy just hit my foot.... LOL!  
ME
  EWWW!!!  iT'S A LEG OF LAMB!
HER
  CUH!
ME 
  oh lordy!
 HER
We don't have any "hankie" icons....
ME
  that's what we need.  crying and smiling together.
HER                
  And the occasional "Huh?" face!!  LOL!
ME
  Perfect...and that last one....where's my uterus?  lol
HER
  LOL!!   Would someone please pick up my uterus???  I seem to have dropped it again!!
ME 
  honey, could you hold my purse for me ...AND MY UTERUS?
HER
  LOL!!
  now i'm laughing until I'm crying!  
ME 
  me too!  good times.
HER
  Absolutely... Thank you for those!  I needed a good laugh too.   
ME 
  Hand me that uterus, please.
  me too, thank you!
HER
  is that yours??  I thought it was mine?  Better double-check!
ME 
  Bol...now bursting out laughing!

The Problems of A Grandmother's Purse

It needs to be large, but not so big it strains her back.   There need to be pockets and slots just right for fitting leftover Chuck E Cheese tickets and tokens, little Leg-O bits, plus all of the stuff Mimi feels she must have with her at all times, like this:
(Click on picture to make it bigger)

What is required is a bag that has several different pockets and areas for organization, zipper pouches that keep coins inside, a special easy access section for those things you use most, and it must be ergonomic, not too heavy on poor Mimi's shoulders.

There's ONE purse that can do all that!  And neatly holds all of the items you see above in neat order and easy to find.  Here it is:

THE BUXTON BAG!!!

The original Buxton leather shoulder bag...don't be fooled, if it doesn't say Buxton, it's not the Buxton Bag!

AND

When the grandchildren and I went to Chuck E. Cheese it was a good thing we brought the Buxton Bag!   You see, little Noah and Reagan were too short to reach the basketballs.  Our money was just going down the tubes until Mimi took off her sweater and high heels, asked Reagan to hold the cups and tickets and asked Noah to hold the Buxton Bag!  Freed from her burdens, Mimi started flipping basketballs into the net left and right, some hit the backboard, others were nothing but net.   Mimi got so many points that tickets were pouring out of the machine, so where did we put them all?  

In the Buxton Bag!
IT'S IN THE BAG:  THE BUXTON BAG!

The SMOKEY Eye

Just got my package from ShopCraze so I can make my eyes sultrier than a baby deer's.

Fun toys, pencils, brushes, shadows, also some nail and lip stuff so I wouldn't have to pay postage...

Well I tried it real quick.  

I have seen the smoky eye and this isn't it.  I will try again later.

Nope, definitely not the look I was going for.

"POSSIBLY DEAD ANIMALS"

IN THE HILL COUNTRY
My daughter and family made a visit to the hill country over Christmas vacation.  She is an amateur photographer and caught this shot of my grandson with the river sparkling in the background.

It's a real pretty picture until you realize there is a dead unicorn just to Noah's left.

IN THE PATENT APPLICATIONS OFFICE

I found this picture on the internet.  It is an invention, so you have to promise not to copy it and pretend you invented it.

I don't know what it is, but in my part of the country, if there is some kind of odd looking structure made out of steel and you can't figure out what it is, it is usually something involved with killing deer.



AT COLLEGE STATION
This is my granddaughter Aysha.  She has made many friends at her new school.

Here Aysha describes how she did a necropsy on an overweight Corgi.

BITS AND PIECES

LIFE  "Life isn't one damn thing after another. It's the same damn thing again and again." --Edna St. Vincent Millay MORE RUMI There is some kiss we want with our whole lives, the touch of Spirit on the body. Seawater begs the pearl to break its shell. And the lily, how passionately it needs some wild darling! At night, I open the window and ask the moon to come and press its face into mine. Breathe into me. Close the language-door, and open the love-window. The moon won't use the door, only the window. -rumi ZETA TALK:   There's a site called Zeta Talk that predicts a planetary shift. Now, they expected this to happen last year, but I still wouldn't rule it out just because it hasn't happened yet.  Just in case, this map shows where everybody is going to end up after the earth gets pulled out of the sun's orbit by the gravitational field of a passing planet, and actually stops rotating for a few days. I thought that if this were to happen, we would fall off the earth out into space, but I'd rather play the safe bet here. As you can see from the map below, India and Australia are out. Sunny Florida, the Keys & Bahamas will be up around the North Pole, so forget them. Scandinavia looks like a pretty safe bet. You definitely don't want to end up right on the equator, though. Sunday:    Sitting around the house, listening to music and thinking... Am I the only one who, upon hearing that someone they know has died, thinks now that's just one more person who can see me take a bath. Quotes for the Day:    "I've had a wonderful time, but this wasn't it ."  - Bob Furge The opposite of life is not death; the opposite of  life is fear.  - DMills` Favorite Junk Mail Quote Today:   "Stress  is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep  yet." Favorite Chuquote Today:   "I had never seen the burning of the bride at a Mexican wedding."

The Real Reason I'm Breaking Up With You

1.  You have more than one "Action Figure."
2.  You laugh like a girl.
3.  I once saw you running in thongs.
4.  Because you "accidently" put a Carpenter's song on a mix CD.
5.  Because you don't know what a rick roll is.
6.  You peed in the backyard.
7.  Because I make more money than you.
8.  Because you didn't notice my:  manicure, haircut, smokey eyes, new tattoo etc.
9.  Because you always send a half dozen roses and not a dozen.
10. None of my friends like you.

I BET HE HATES WHEN THIS HAPPENS!

My brother took an Ambien (maybe more than one, he does not remember).  In the morning his recliner was gone and he found it out by the dumpster at his apartment.

Wow, Thanks Amazon.Com!

The other day I downloaded a few MP3s off Amazon and they emailed me and said I had two 5.00 credits, and all these album downloads for 5 dollars.  So I got me two new albums, an Indigo Girls (forgot title) and Coldplay Parachutes.  Fun!  I love getting new music!  I think the offer is good through the 10th.  check it out!

I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!

Have you ever started reading a Patricia Cornwell book and then a few pages in realize you've read it before? IHWTH!

I'm Gonna Beat that Weight Loss Plateau!

And here's how:  I'm going to start wearing a backpack when I take my daily walk.  When I lose one pound, I am going to put a 1 pound weight in the backpack.  When I lose 5 pounds, I am going to put a 5 pound weight in.  Think about it!  Normally the more fit you become, the more you become able to carry more weight, except you LOSE the weight.  If my plan works, you will see me next month walking down Broadway carrying a full backpack and a sack of sugar tied around each leg.

TOP 10 WEB SITES FOR HOURS OF BROWSING FUN

Just a quick top ten list  - in no particular order - of great ways to waste time on the internet.  I'm sure there will be a lot more that occur to me after this, but you could waste hours and hours with:

ebay
Amazon
Internet movie database
Facebook
Some e cards
Google Earth
HGTV
About.COM
Dwell.COM
The restless mouse

Got to know when to walk away though...and for me that's right now.