Don't You Ever Wonder How You Got Caught?
Okay I feel kind of like a traitor, but there are a few tricks that persons of authority keep in their arsenal to make sure you - the persons under authority - are minding your Ps and Qs.
1. How did she know I wore her earrings? Many people are quite precise about where and how they place their items. If she always puts the backs parallel to the fronts, and you put them back willy nilly, she is going to know. Same thing with food, socks, etc. Some folks know exactly how many pieces, pairs or sets they have, and they will automatically know if one goes missing.
2. How did Mom know that I was sexually active? Because you had a problem going to the bathroom, she took you to the doctor and the doc said you have a UTI. No matter what it means, it indicates you have been having sex. On a frequent basis.
3. How did Dad know I was feeling up my girlfriend in the other room? You probably think that interior decor is meant to make a place look nice. Well that's true, but there is another function: spying. With the correct placement of mirrors and glass covered artworks, observations can be made of people in a completely different room as the reflections bounce from one mirrored surface to another, and thus to a completely different room.
4. How did my parents know that I've discovered masturbation? For boys, very simple. They check your sheets with a black light. For girls, if you have your hand in your panties, don't go waving it in front of your mother's nose. For goodness sakes boys and girls, keep it CLEAN.
5. They know I smoked pot in the car, but we completely aired it out! Parents don't want you to know this, but they too smoked pot as teenagers and are quite familiar with a seed of marijuana. Seeds are probably the major ripoff of pot smoking, so for goodness sakes clean your weed fastidiously before rolling it.
6. Remember, you will probably need to know these secrets when you grow up, so try to remember them.
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